PAINtball: The Painful Truth



Paintball, unfortunately it doesn’t look like the above picture. If it did, I’m sure more people would know about it and play it.

But instead most people think of paintball as the picture below.



And because of this image of an idiot who decided to, well, be an idiot, the sport (yes it is a sport) has a bad rap.

Paintball is unlike anything else, it combines agility, cunning, finger skills (quit your snickering), hand-eye coordination, and endurance all in one. Throw in competition, cash prizes, and hot tempered muscular men, you have yourself the same atmosphere as any other sport in the world, with the exception of British Cycling I’m sure.

Look, jokes aside paintball kicks ass and I encourage everyone I meet to give it a try. The biggest reason I hear people complain about it 1) cost and 2) pain. Honestly, yeah paintball costs a lot so if you don’t have the cash to spend on it don’t bother buying any equipment. Instead find your nearest field and go with some friends and rent the equipment from the field. They’ll hook you up and teach you all you need to know. Pain wise however, you may be surprised. Have you ever been pinched on the back of your arm by your asshole friend? Yeah we all have and it sucks, but that’s the closest thing I can compare to being shot by a paintball. Other than that, it’s kind of it’s own pain category, much like tattoos. There really isn’t anything much like getting a tattoo or being shot by a paintball gun except, well, getting a tattoo or being shot by a paintball gun.

If the pain thing is really the only thing keeping you from not trying paintball, grow a pair and go to your local field. I promise it’s all in your head, it doesn’t hurt at all. It’ll sting for maybe 30 seconds and then you’ll forget about it because of the amount of fun you’re having. So take your friends and go have some fun!

Here’s an informative video on what to expect when playing paintball for the first time.

And here’s a video of some first time players (some of my favorite bands actually)

For those more adventurous people, go try Speed-Ball or X-Ball. These two types of paintball are the styles that I play personally, and it is much more intense. It takes everything I listed above and multiplies the intensity by a factor of ten. This is the type of paintball played by professionals, and yes there are pro’s in this sport. So if you’re interested check out the links below.

I hope you join the sport, I love it and hope you will soon.


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