Toaster Oven Burgers: Bad Idea Of The Week

 

You asked for it (no you didn’t) so here it is! Toaster oven burgers. If your idea of fun is intently watching your toaster oven for the probable flash of fire and the imminent fear of burning your building down then this recipe is for you!

 

(Step 1)

 

Food: buy that shit.

 

(Step 2)

 

Foil: use it, a lot of it. Preheat oven on broil setting

 

 

(Step 3)

 

Seasoning: put it on the burgers.

 

 

Do they look something like this?

 

 

Good, let’s continue.

 

(Step 4)

 

Lay burgers on preheated rack that has been covered in foil. Poke holes in foil around burgers large enough for fat and grease to run through (I ended up adding loads more holes so do as many as you want). Make sure that you have a catch tray under those holes as well.

 

 

(Step 5)

 

Shut the door and start cooking.

 

 

Set your timer for five minutes. This may vary, five worked for me.

 

Grab your roommate a towel because he forgot one.

 

Screenshot_2013-02-02-15-29-03

 

(Step 6)

 

Come back in five minutes and flip the burgers. After you do that it should look something like this.

 

LEFT: not flipped         RIGHT: flipped

 

 

(Step 7)

 

Cook for another five minutes and enjoy. Feel free to check with a thermometer if they’re done or not.

 

 

Add some bacon and enjoy even more.

 

 

 

 

Honestly, these burgers were delicious. I wasn’t expecting them to be very good at all but after enjoying several apiece between my roommates and I, It was unanimously agreed that they can rival any burger cooked on a traditional grill. That being said, the reward wasn’t necessarily worth the risk. I caught my oven on fire several times, spent a lot of time holding a couple fans pointed towards the window to flush the smoke out, and cleaned up a lot of grease and fat from my oven. Regardless of all of that, I can’t help but love the fact that this actually worked. I had no idea they would turn out that good. They were delicious as hell, and only took a couple fires and close calls to make. Sounds like normal grilling, right?

So here’s my journey, hope you enjoyed it, try it at your own risk.

Superbowl Weekend: Toaster Oven Burgers/ Bacon

What’s up everyone!

As I’m sure you all know it’s Super Bowl weekend and I felt like doing an experiment instead of watching the Super Bowl since I don’t really care for football. WHAT?! I know what I just said so let me explain. When I was younger I actually did want to start playing football. My dad did, my uncles did, and basically everyone in the family did. But when a young child broke his neck and died while playing in the youth league in town because a coach there was forging papers and having older kids play down a level, it’s obvious to see why my parents didn’t let me. So instead I grew up playing soccer, and we tend to be rivals since, you know, the American sport stole our name and all. And from my experiences most of the football players in high school are shit heads. So I don’t really care for football. Not to mention the Chiefs suck.

So, back to the experiment. I’ve decided to grill burgers, but with a twist since the temperature outside continues to fluctuate around zero degrees. ZERO DEGREES FAHRENHEIT! That’s -32 degrees Celsius! Instead I’ll be using my trusty toaster oven, which is totally allowed in the dorms in college… The fire alarm went off three times a week my freshman year because jackass kids kept pulling it but not once because of my toaster oven. Fire hazard my ass!

I’m not sure what technique I’ll be using, if there even is a technique to cooking inside a toaster over. It’s just some semi-shitty $60 toaster oven I got from Target on sale for $40, plus a $20 off coupon. BOOM $20 toaster oven, and that’s honestly an appropriate price for what I got. Regardless It’s happening.

I’ve got a meat thermometer, a Rambo knife, shit loads of foil, a magazine I took from the pharmacy area in Hyvee about how to properly grill meats (like I said, it never hurts to learn something new), and a brick of beef thawing in the fridge (no seriously it’s a brick, my roommate asked me to throw it to him like a football and upon dropping it I’m pretty sure it chipped the concrete). Not to mention loads of excitement as well as some bacon! Unfortunately it’s just microwave bacon… BUT I’m cooking it inside the toaster oven as well. Because that’s what men do. I’ll make it up to you with some nice, expensive cheap ass bacon from Walmart.

Let’s see how this goes and I’ll get some pictures and a conclusion up within the next couple of days. Have a good Super Bowl weekend and be safe. None of that driving drunk bullshit. It costs $20 for cab fare or a hilarious drunk call to a friend to make it home safe. Seems like a lot less than a lifetime of guilt for killing an innocent person plus 5-10 in prison for manslaughter. So don’t be a fucking idiot.