Finally It’s Over

Lazy-College-Senior-Funny-Meme-On-Finals-WeekFinals week is upon us! The last week of every semester in college seems to be the hardest, yet easiest at the same time. No more classes equals lots of free time for every body; but important tests which may break or make your grade loom just over the horizon of the following Monday. Finals week is definitely bittersweet.

Seasonality makes finals even worse. I’m from Missouri and here we have all four seasons unlike other places. The spring semester is the worst finals week of them all I feel. The weather starts to warm up, the sun comes out, we all start dressing for the summer, and most of all we start to procrastinate because of all this. Who wants to sit inside and study when it’s beautiful outside? Yeah, finals week is bittersweet.

So, some words of advice: study early! Don’t be like the guy above, or do, it’s your grade. Good luck!

 

Weekend Grilling: Best Burger Recipe

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As the title says I have the best burger recipe ever! I was unable to take pictures because my phone died, but I will include pictures that describe what I’m talking about.

As always, acquire all of the ingredients. This recipe calls for some worcestershire sauce, black ground pepper, white salt, ketchup, ground beef, beer, and your typical hamburger accessories such as buns, lettuce, cheese, etc…

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Get a bowl that is large enough for whatever amount of meat you are using. We had a five pound meat log so our bowl was fairly large.

Toss your ground beef in there and add ketchup, worcestershire sauce, black pepper, white salt, a dash of beer, and mix to taste. But don’t actually taste it. Add a pinch/dash of everything per pound of meat.

Once the meat is seasoned and mixed up it’s time to prepare your patties. Make your typical burger shape and lay them on a wax sheet or saran wrap for safe keeping. Before you cook though, take a spoon and depress the center of the burgers. Do your burgers rise in the center a lot while cooking? This will keep that from happening and came from Gordon Ramsey himself. Your burgers will be perfectly level and delicious for everyone.

burgers-raw

These aren’t mine, but they should look similar to this once depressing the center with a spoon

Toss them on the grill and cook to taste, but make sure you flip only once, don’t push on them with the spatula, and remember that they keep cooking once you take them off. The trick to good burgers is the timing. Enjoy!

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Weekend Grilling: The Poppers

That’s right everyone, I’ve got some jalapeno popper grill works coming at you today. I’ll show you how to prepare these delicious bacon covered savory snacks because that’s how I do it, covered in bacon. So without further adieu, let’s get started.

First make sure you grab all the ingredients you need. Jalapenos, cream cheese, cheddar jack shredded cheese, bacon, mini-weenies, some toothpicks and your grill.

Make sure you start that grill before preparing the food if it’s charcoal so the coals can burn down!

ALSO! SOAK YOUR TOOTH PICKS IN WATER SO THEY DON’T BURN

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First cut the heads and tails off of your jalapenos (the top and bottom if you don’t understand) leaving about 1-3 inches of the jalapeno left. Now core it and cut it in half. What you’re left with should resemble this.

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After you’ve done that to all of your jalapenos, grab your cream cheese and shredded cheese and mix until you’re happy with your creamy goodness.

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Take your jalapeno “boat” as I call them and spread a little cream cheese inside as paste

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Add your mini-weenie, wrap in a half piece of bacon, and stick a toothpick through it so it stays together on the grill. It’s important to use a half piece of bacon to ensure the bacon cooks thoroughly, if not it’ll be too much and the outside will be charred while the inside will be under cooked.

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You’re end result so far should look like this.

Once they are all wrapped up and toothpicked, set them all in some sort of tray and sprinkle some brown sugar on each one. Then, they are ready for the grill!

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After grilling them for about ten minutes, they should look similar to this. Enjoy! Don’t forget to share with your friends!

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BACON PANCAKES!

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This is the photo that inspired me, I hope mine do the same to you.

That’s right everybody you read that correctly, today you will learn the awe-inspiring talent of how to make bacon pancakes! Follow the included directions below and soon enough you’ll have your own mouth-watering bacon pancakes of your own! Share or hoard them, it’s up to you!

(1) Get some kind of pancake mix.

I used Bisquick out of a box but any brand or mixture works. My box called for two eggs and a 1/4 cup of milk, so make sure you follow the directions on the back.

(2) Collect and add whatever ingredients you want to your pancake mix.

If you want to make chocolate chip strawberry bacon-cakes that’s ok. I like to keep it pretty simple and add a little sugar and vanilla to mine, about a tablespoon of each should suffice.

(3) Prep your cooking area!

I used an electric skillet, I highly advise using one for pancakes because of the even temperature it produces. I have never burnt anything on our electric skillet…ever… Seriously. Also make sure you have your pancake mix ready and waiting off to the side, as well as some cooking spray (if whatever you’re using isn’t non stick). A spatula would be useful, unless you’re the manliest of men and only flip food with your god-given spHANDtulas. Please don’t try that, it’s not as cool as you think.

(4) COOK THE BACON!

Sweet Odin’s beard bacon is good. Make sure you toss that shit on the skillet and let it sizzle until almost done. REMEMBER NOT TO COOK THE BACON ALL THE WAY. It will continue to cook when you pour the pancake mixture over it so make sure it is cooked thoroughly but not to a crisp.

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It should look something like this

(5) Drizzle over that sizzle.

Once the bacon is cooked to your liking (but not to a crisp) pour your pancake batter over your bacon in one fluid motion. The amount of batter required will vary but as long as the bacon is completely submerged it will be perfectly fine.

My hand wasn't as steady as it could have been, but it if looks similar to this you are on the right track

My hand wasn’t as steady as it could have been, but it if looks similar to this you are on the right track

(6) Let the pancakes cook, then flip, then cook some more.

There isn’t a universal time for flipping pancakes, but my tell is when the edges start to curl up a little bit. Once you pour the pancake batter on try to refrain from messing with them until you absolutely have to. Once the edges start to curl and some bubbles start to show up in the batter you’ll know it’s time to flip.

After flipping

After flipping they should look similar to this. Mine were fairly sloppy, but they looked good to me.

(7) Plate your masterpiece.

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No breakfast meal is complete without some chocolate milk

(8) If you cook it, they will come

That’s right, so make sure you cook enough for all of your friends too. Invite them over for an evening of debauchery and games while also blowing their minds with this kickass bacon pancake meal.

And because my humor is that of a five-year old, here is what I did with the extra batter.

(9) Make a pan-cock.

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Yeah, I really did this

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And yes, it was delicious

National Park Budget Cuts = Not Manly

WHAT IS UP!?  Feel free to comment and let me know what you’ve been up to the last week or so over spring break. Speaking of, I hope you all head a phenomenal break like I did, I’m glad you all made it back to campus if you go to Northwest Missouri State University like I do, if not, why aren’t you going here? Back on topic!

I don’t know if any of you have heard about the recent sequester that has been going on in congress and the like, but it isn’t good. I think? Honestly I have no clue what a sequester even is, I’ve googled it up/left/right and back down and still don’t understand it. Bureaucracy, am I right? No? Yeah I didn’t think so… Anyways, one main thing that came out of this sequester that I do understand are budget cuts. Loads and loads of budget cuts, including some on our national parks.

Seeing as how I’m in school to become a geologist, this pains my soul! National parks are kick ass! If you haven’t been to one I highly suggest you go, a Sate Park would do. Just get outside! Too many people stay inside too much thanks to websites like Netflix and Hulu, along with Xbox Live. Go climb a tree. No seriously go climb a tree.

You’re back? How was it? You didn’t fall did you? No? Good. Let’s continue.

As of today, the first of April 2013, federal budget cuts force Yellowstone Park to curtail Old Faithful eruptions. This is really disappointing, Yellowstone has been a milestone for every outdoors-man and traveler. It’s almost the American rite of passage to visit it and witness the awesomeness that is the Old Faithful eruption. Instead of having eruptions every hour and a half, the national park will essentially be throttling the amount of water allowed into the area to only allow two to three eruptions a day.

So since Old Faithful won’t be as faithful as it was in the past, I guess we’ll simply have to find another way of having fun at Yellowstone… Hmm… What to do… Why not traverse Bacon Rind Creek Trail? What, you think I’m joking? I’m not, so click the link to the left or below and let’s plan a group hike through some bacon.

I hope your break was as great as mine was. Tell me about how drunk you got in the comments! Or how awesome your mom’s house was! Or whatever other story you feel like adding.

Links:

Bacon Rind Creek:  http://www.rei.com/guidepost/detail/montana/hiking/bacon-rind-creek-trail/40817

Federal Budget Cuts: http://www.yellowstonegate.com/2013/04/federal-budget-cuts-force-yellowstone-park-curtail-old-faithful-eruptions/

Best Cookware Set Ever

I’m moving into an apartment next semester and landed on this as my cookware set. I figured it was created to cook bacon, so It’ll help me up my bacon game as well as yours. Take a look and pre-order now, because I am for sure!

Get your cooking arsenal now! I’m not affiliated with Epic Meal Time in any way, but damn do I love them

Bacon Weave

This may be the coolest thing I have ever seen and I plan on making it a lot more from now on. It’s called a bacon weave, and I’m in love with it. Why haven’t we been doing this for ever? These kinds of things are what gives me hope for the human race, the fact that we can make weaves of bacon for our food, it’s fantastic. So in true fashion, here are a lot of bacon weave photos that we should all take inspiration from. Give your eyeballs some porn and enjoy.

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Bacon, It’s Not Just For Breakfast Anymore

After posting that s’mores challenge a couple posts back, I decided to look for “candy bacon” because in the video I gave to you guys it shows the good ol’ boys of Epic Meal Time “candying” their bacon. I was a little confused on what this was, and it’s basically brown sugar bacon. It sounds delicious. You know what else sounds delicious? Literal candy bacon, check this recipe out that I found. I’ll be doing my own one of these very soon, you can count on that. Today’s recipe combines Nutella and bacon, greatest idea ever.

Here’s the recipe, go check it out

Candy Bacon

MANnerisms: How To Act In Times Of Stress

Hello everyone!

For those who don’t know a mannerism is a habitual gesture or way of behaving/speaking.  I like to think of it as how someone acts, speaks, and conducts themselves. Today I’d like to try out the first of a possible new category here on F&F called MANnerisms: How To Act In Times Of Stress. I constantly find myself torn between two ways of conducting myself in life: The Younger Me and the Older Me. These two personalities tend to lie dormant until an increased time of stress. Here’s a few examples if you’re not picking up what I’m putting down.

-Your girlfriend tells you she finished your laundry for you, you thank her and put all of it up. The next morning you are getting ready and you realize every article of clothing you own has shrank because she dried it on high heat. You’r favorite, once yellow shirt now looks like the lady who owns the tanning shop in town. How do you act?

-You wake up every morning for classes but some mornings are different. It’s just one of those days. You stub your toe on every corner in your apartment, your tooth paste falls on your shirt, you go to tie your shoes and they spontaneously combust  You know, the usual. How do you act?

-You are taking a shower and listening to music at the same time, it soothes you and helps wake you up. You’ve been doing this for the last year or so and it has never bothered anybody, not even your roommates. Today however, the lady living beneath you decides to bang on her ceiling so hard that you feel it on your feet in the shower and have a mini heart attack (since your eyes are closed and you’re half asleep in the shower). You jump up in horror, not knowing what the noise was or where it came from and you run out to the living room holding only your genitalia in one hand and your ass in the other. Your girlfriend and roommate ask you whats up, like nothing is wrong, not even questioning your nakedness, and you tell them. They call you crazy and you get back in the shower and pretend it didn’t happen. Until it does. Several more times. How do you act?

 

Let’s pick the latter of the examples to explain. You see, I’ve been listening to music a friend of mine has been listening to music when he showers for the last couple years. It never woke up his mom at home when he got up every day at 5am to work construction last summer, it never woke up his girlfriend when he gets up to shower and get ready before her, and it never posed any problems to anyone else– until now. You see, my two personalities were fighting over this one pretty hard, and the decision to punch her in the face confront her seemed like the right thing to do. So here’s the two scenarios the Younger Me/ Older Me came up with:

1) The Younger Me said: “Quit being a pussy, go down there and punch her in the face knock on the door as loud as you can since it’s fairly early, confront her, and scream in her face. Then as you are leaving flip her off and walk away like a badass before she can even say a word.”

2) The Older Me said: “Don’t be stupid, what if it’s her boyfriend who was doing that and not her? What if her boyfriend is giant and full of muscles? What if she was drowning and was banging on the ceiling for help? What if the maintenance man was down there fixing something?”

So I did as any pragmatic person would and I got back in the shower to ponder my options before I had to get out and choose one. After completing my shower, I realized that being angry about it wasn’t going to fix anything, and that storming down there in a pissy mood planning for a fight would just make everything worse. The Older Me had prevailed, but not because I’m older and more mature. The Older Me had prevailed because I’d done this before, a lot actually. In high school I wasn’t the best person ever, I spoke out, rebelled, broke rules, literally went to the office every day and spent every Thursday for two years in what our school called Thursday School– a five hour long detention every Thursday. I’ve been in fist fights with people over the dumbest shit you could possibly think of, and all for what, some bragging rights? No, it wasn’t worth it at all. I had been in that situation, and I didn’t want to go back. After all, the only mistake is not learning from the ones you’ve made.

So cooler heads prevailed, and I finished getting ready and went to breakfast to blog about this mornings events. How you act towards anyone will always have an affect on you in many ways. You never know who they are, they might be your boss or your new neighbor, and it’s always better to be nice first. Unless it’s the girl who lives below me Even if it’s the girl who lives below you and is rude to you on every occasion, It’s your job to be better than her. And to quote The Walking Dead:  “just because humanity is lost, it doesn’t mean we have to lose ours as well.

 

I hope you enjoyed that post, I haven’t decided if It’ll stick or not. But as always, here’s an awesome bacon pancake idea I recently found. Have fun trying it, I’ll let you know how it goes when I do sometime soon. life-hacks-how-to-make-your-life-easier-48

Manliness: It Does Not Come From Flagellation

Hello everyone!

I know it’s been quite awhile but I promise it was a good excuse. Now that my midterms are finally over, I’d like to address something that most of you probably don’t know about: Flagellation-the beating as a source of erotic or religious stimulation.

Before this was uploaded to my Facebook feed, I had no idea what it was. I remember reading Moliere’s Tartuffe in my Literature class last semester and recalling a part of the play when Tartuffe spoke about how he wore a leather shirt with the hair still on it. But instead the of facing out, the hair faced inward, as to constantly cause irritation in the name God. I’m not quite sure exactly what was said as it has been translated so many times, but it was something along that line.

Now, I don’t claim to be any sort of religious or spiritualistic person. I respect others in their beliefs, but strongly feel that anyone who follows anything blindly is an idiot. You wouldn’t shoot a gun blind, or drive a car blind, so why is it ok to follow blind? I simply don’t understand. So please don’t confuse this post as a religion bashing one, because it isn’t. I honestly don’t understand why anyone would do what you are about to watch. Let alone in the name of a God.

Here’s the video and article that was uploaded to my feed a few days ago. The original video has been taken down and replaced with a milder one, and I was unable to find it. However, if you’re really interested in more of this, conduct some research of your own on Google or something, because I won’t be able to help. I quite simply don’t have the stomach for it.

Time for some Man-pinion.
Look, I’m all for equal treatment of everyone and also feel that religion should be up to the believer. That being said, I still feel this is quite possibly the furthest thing from religion that I’ve ever seen. I simply can’t fathom the necessity to inflict any harm, let alone personal harm, in the name of any deity. The fact that these people are so brainwashed that they literally cut the their backs down to the spine with machete’s, and then promptly pass out only to have paramedics revive them. If you’re wondering where I got that information, that’s what was shown in the original video I watched. I was unable to find it, but again, there are lots of videos all over the net showing worse than that.
So, to you five or six people who follow my blog. What’s your opinion on this?