MANnerisms: How To Act In Times Of Stress

Hello everyone!

For those who don’t know a mannerism is a habitual gesture or way of behaving/speaking.  I like to think of it as how someone acts, speaks, and conducts themselves. Today I’d like to try out the first of a possible new category here on F&F called MANnerisms: How To Act In Times Of Stress. I constantly find myself torn between two ways of conducting myself in life: The Younger Me and the Older Me. These two personalities tend to lie dormant until an increased time of stress. Here’s a few examples if you’re not picking up what I’m putting down.

-Your girlfriend tells you she finished your laundry for you, you thank her and put all of it up. The next morning you are getting ready and you realize every article of clothing you own has shrank because she dried it on high heat. You’r favorite, once yellow shirt now looks like the lady who owns the tanning shop in town. How do you act?

-You wake up every morning for classes but some mornings are different. It’s just one of those days. You stub your toe on every corner in your apartment, your tooth paste falls on your shirt, you go to tie your shoes and they spontaneously combust  You know, the usual. How do you act?

-You are taking a shower and listening to music at the same time, it soothes you and helps wake you up. You’ve been doing this for the last year or so and it has never bothered anybody, not even your roommates. Today however, the lady living beneath you decides to bang on her ceiling so hard that you feel it on your feet in the shower and have a mini heart attack (since your eyes are closed and you’re half asleep in the shower). You jump up in horror, not knowing what the noise was or where it came from and you run out to the living room holding only your genitalia in one hand and your ass in the other. Your girlfriend and roommate ask you whats up, like nothing is wrong, not even questioning your nakedness, and you tell them. They call you crazy and you get back in the shower and pretend it didn’t happen. Until it does. Several more times. How do you act?

 

Let’s pick the latter of the examples to explain. You see, I’ve been listening to music a friend of mine has been listening to music when he showers for the last couple years. It never woke up his mom at home when he got up every day at 5am to work construction last summer, it never woke up his girlfriend when he gets up to shower and get ready before her, and it never posed any problems to anyone else– until now. You see, my two personalities were fighting over this one pretty hard, and the decision to punch her in the face confront her seemed like the right thing to do. So here’s the two scenarios the Younger Me/ Older Me came up with:

1) The Younger Me said: “Quit being a pussy, go down there and punch her in the face knock on the door as loud as you can since it’s fairly early, confront her, and scream in her face. Then as you are leaving flip her off and walk away like a badass before she can even say a word.”

2) The Older Me said: “Don’t be stupid, what if it’s her boyfriend who was doing that and not her? What if her boyfriend is giant and full of muscles? What if she was drowning and was banging on the ceiling for help? What if the maintenance man was down there fixing something?”

So I did as any pragmatic person would and I got back in the shower to ponder my options before I had to get out and choose one. After completing my shower, I realized that being angry about it wasn’t going to fix anything, and that storming down there in a pissy mood planning for a fight would just make everything worse. The Older Me had prevailed, but not because I’m older and more mature. The Older Me had prevailed because I’d done this before, a lot actually. In high school I wasn’t the best person ever, I spoke out, rebelled, broke rules, literally went to the office every day and spent every Thursday for two years in what our school called Thursday School– a five hour long detention every Thursday. I’ve been in fist fights with people over the dumbest shit you could possibly think of, and all for what, some bragging rights? No, it wasn’t worth it at all. I had been in that situation, and I didn’t want to go back. After all, the only mistake is not learning from the ones you’ve made.

So cooler heads prevailed, and I finished getting ready and went to breakfast to blog about this mornings events. How you act towards anyone will always have an affect on you in many ways. You never know who they are, they might be your boss or your new neighbor, and it’s always better to be nice first. Unless it’s the girl who lives below me Even if it’s the girl who lives below you and is rude to you on every occasion, It’s your job to be better than her. And to quote The Walking Dead:  “just because humanity is lost, it doesn’t mean we have to lose ours as well.

 

I hope you enjoyed that post, I haven’t decided if It’ll stick or not. But as always, here’s an awesome bacon pancake idea I recently found. Have fun trying it, I’ll let you know how it goes when I do sometime soon. life-hacks-how-to-make-your-life-easier-48

Manliness: It Does Not Come From Flagellation

Hello everyone!

I know it’s been quite awhile but I promise it was a good excuse. Now that my midterms are finally over, I’d like to address something that most of you probably don’t know about: Flagellation-the beating as a source of erotic or religious stimulation.

Before this was uploaded to my Facebook feed, I had no idea what it was. I remember reading Moliere’s Tartuffe in my Literature class last semester and recalling a part of the play when Tartuffe spoke about how he wore a leather shirt with the hair still on it. But instead the of facing out, the hair faced inward, as to constantly cause irritation in the name God. I’m not quite sure exactly what was said as it has been translated so many times, but it was something along that line.

Now, I don’t claim to be any sort of religious or spiritualistic person. I respect others in their beliefs, but strongly feel that anyone who follows anything blindly is an idiot. You wouldn’t shoot a gun blind, or drive a car blind, so why is it ok to follow blind? I simply don’t understand. So please don’t confuse this post as a religion bashing one, because it isn’t. I honestly don’t understand why anyone would do what you are about to watch. Let alone in the name of a God.

Here’s the video and article that was uploaded to my feed a few days ago. The original video has been taken down and replaced with a milder one, and I was unable to find it. However, if you’re really interested in more of this, conduct some research of your own on Google or something, because I won’t be able to help. I quite simply don’t have the stomach for it.

Time for some Man-pinion.
Look, I’m all for equal treatment of everyone and also feel that religion should be up to the believer. That being said, I still feel this is quite possibly the furthest thing from religion that I’ve ever seen. I simply can’t fathom the necessity to inflict any harm, let alone personal harm, in the name of any deity. The fact that these people are so brainwashed that they literally cut the their backs down to the spine with machete’s, and then promptly pass out only to have paramedics revive them. If you’re wondering where I got that information, that’s what was shown in the original video I watched. I was unable to find it, but again, there are lots of videos all over the net showing worse than that.
So, to you five or six people who follow my blog. What’s your opinion on this?

Epic S’mores!

Definitely like this, although I’m not sure everyone can afford to make one similar to Epic Meal Time’s. Today’s post is more of a challenge. I challenge you to create the biggest, most monstrous s’mores you can. Let’s get those pictures coming! AND THERE BETTER BE BACON INVOLVED

Shrimp and Bacon Kebabs

 

So my friend cooks shrimp a lot, and it isn’t always that good. He’s trying this new eating healthy lifestyle and I feel he just doesn’t understand the life I’m trying to lead. Beards, bitches my girlfriend, and bacon. So I decided to do some research and upgrade his shrimp game to a whole new level. Here’s what I found: shrimp bacon kebabs  instead of boring baking and skillet cooking, these bad boys include fire, bacon, and wood stabbing utensils, so here’s the recipe. Stay tuned for my version in a couple weeks

What you need: 12 oz 41-60 shrimp, peeled and deveined, 6 slices of uncooked thick-cut bacon, 1/2 bottle Lawry’s Santa Fe Chili Marinade or your favorite blend, 6 bamboo skewers, paper towels, lime wedges

Marinade the shrimp in the fridge for 30-60 minutes and put the skewers in water to soak while you prepare the bacon. This particular recipe calls for the bacon to be cooked in the microwave, but we’re better than that. Cook however you want but make sure that you don’t cook the bacon all the way so the strips are still pliable for the skewers.

Shrimp in marinade

Shrimp in marinade

Take the soaked skewers and start to layer the shrimp and bacon. First the bacon, then shrimp, then weave the bacon around the shrimp in one piece, and continue the sequence. Do this until the bacon runs out (like that would ever happen).

Finished product

Finished product

I hope you enjoy trying this recipe, let me know how it goes and I’ll get my own up soon.

Here’s the website I found the recipe.

 

 

Handheld Food: Nothing Better Than That!

Especially when it includes bacon!

Here’s a quick video on how to make a variation of the breakfast muffin. I’m super interested in these recipes because 1) it has bacon in it 2) it’s a breakfast food and 3) it’s finger food! Everybody loves finger foods, am I right?

Here’s the link to the video, enjoy watching and making this, and stay tuned for when I attempt this awesome bacon muffin.

Breakfast muffin cups

 

Bacon Milkshake: It Isn’t Terrible

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Ok it may be terrible, so here is how to make your own and make it taste delicious.

I’m sure you’ve heard of Jack In The Box’s ever so famous bacon milkshake, and if you love bacon like I do then I’m sure you tried it. I’m also sure you hated it because it tasted like a bacon flavored protein shot mixed with a milk shake, in other words it tasted like shit. This couldn’t be what everyone was so excited for, could it? My taste buds were pissed, so the search for a great bacon milkshake began.

Recently Sonic came out with their twenty-five new flavors of milkshakes and this weekend I got to try a couple, specifically one with bacon. I went to sonic with a couple of friends and saw that they currently have a peanut butter and bacon milk shake. After my terrible experience with Jack In The Box’s bacon milkshake I was hesitant to try it out, but I pulled my shit together and went for it. Boy was it delicious, I ate ever last bit of it.

Since then I’ve been looking for new ways to create my own bacon milkshake from home whenever I wanted one, and here is the best one I’ve found so far. I found it on BaconToday.com and highly advise visiting their website. I’m in no way affiliated with them, I just like their posts.

Here’s the recipe:

Ingredients: One pound of bacon, 1/2 cup of whole milk, 2 1/2 tablespoons of maple syrup, 1 teaspoon of salt, 9 scoops of vanilla ice cream, and whipped cream as an optional topping.

Directions: Cook the bacon however you want and collect the bacon fat and set it aside. Pour milk, maple syrup, salt, and ice cream into the blender. Now is the time to add four tablespoons of bacon fat to the mix. Mix in the blender until your preferred thickness, pour into a glass and garnish with bacon bits. Enjoy!

EPIC MEAL TIME

If you haven’t heard  yet there is a YouTube sensation known as Epic Meal Time; and just as their name sounds, they make epic ass meals for their friends to enjoy. Something that I absolutely agree with and do for my friends almost every weekend. Now if you don’t understand what I mean by “Epic Meals” then you may be in for a surprise, and a stomach ache, because their food gets pretty gross sometimes. Honestly, if they weren’t so drunk when they were eating it I don’t think they would be able to finish the meals they create.

Epic Meal Time is comprised of several men from Canada who enjoy creating high calorie meals involving shit loads of bacon, Jack Daniels, and meat (lots of meat). Harley Morenstein first created Epic Meal Time with his friend Sterling Troth– the camera man. Morenstein is actually a former substitute high school teacher from Montreal, best substitute ever am I right? Also included in the lineup is personal trainer Alex Perrault who by trade is a personal trainer, and in show he portrays his speechless alter ego “Muscles Glasses” who eats fist-fulls of food and boasts aviators.

Epic Meal Time isn’t just about the food though, they love including random celebrities on their short films as well. They’ve included Jamie Oliver, Tony Hawk, Deadmau5, Ian Hecox and Anthony Padilla from Smosh, along with many others.

Included below are some of their best works in my opinion. Check out their YouTube page for more!

http://www.youtube.com/user/EpicMealTime?feature=watch

Manly Vocabulary: Preparedness

Preparedness is a strange thing. It’s taught by many groups ranging from kindergarten to the time you graduate college, but it’s never truly defined and it never seems to actually help you in any way. It’s said that school prepares you for college, and college prepares you for life. I think that’s a load of horse shit, and here’s why.

I was in scouts when I was younger and the one thing they always said was “be prepared.” I joined as a cub and graduated throughout the ranks until I was eventually a full-fledged scout. And although I hated it, it wasn’t all that bad, I met one of my best friends in scouts and went on many adventures with the group of boys I eventually came to call my family. For a couple of years we played jokes on each other, built and tore down countless campsites, rolled countless sleeping bags, and took stupid classes at camp. We built fires, swam for hours, explored caves, shot rifles and bows, and got lost in the woods on purpose just to find our way back. But worst of all, we camped in the snow. Yeah I earned my below-zero badge several times, and it wasn’t fun at all. Ok it was pretty fun, but I don’t advise using summer tents to camp in mid winter, I’m getting shivers just thinking about it.

But there soon came a time when all of this brotherly friendship turned into something different, something more annoying than fun: we all grew up. A-frames were replaced by high school desks, bunk-mates were replaced by classmates, leaders with teachers,  fire pits and logs with cafeteria’s and tables crowded with chairs too small for your ass regardless of age,sex, or size. Tree’s and holes were replaced with bathrooms, charred burgers were replaced with mystery meats, and worst of all– friends were replaced by others. What was this world of porcelain and tile floors, sports teams and cliques, girlfriends and locker-mates? No one trained us for this, no one prepared us for this. No one cared to tell us that our friends would no longer talk to us because of what clothing we wore or music we listened to. You weren’t taught that your friend, who you’d bunked with for years, would become addicted to prescription drugs and drop out of high school to get his GED. You weren’t taught to deal with friends who you thought you knew attempt suicide– not for attention but to truly end their life. You weren’t trained to have every best friend you’d ever had move hours away and you certainly weren’t taught to deal with bullies who beat you up in the bathroom in between classes because you were different from them. Where the fuck was that preparedness course?

But you make it through, barely, some faring better than others. You graduate, hopefully, and look back at what you’ve accomplished. You look back at your old group of friends who now wear Abercrombie & Fitch rather than the uncomfortable tan shirt and olive drab pants of the past. You see the person you once called your best friend taken from you by drugs and alcohol because of family abuse. You watch your friends slowly sliding into mediocrity and think to yourself “what happened to wanting to be somebody?” But you carry on anyways and go to college to watch the cycle continue again. Friends come and go and classes blur into one giant shit storm of homework. You periodically check how your “friends” from back home are doing on Facebook or Twitter just to make sure they’re ok, even though they aren’t. You take unfathomable amounts of money out in loans to pay for your college, hoping you chose the right degree to pay it all off, trying not to think about what happens if you can’t. You go to class like a zombie, you procrastinate, eat wrong, gain weight, make friends, lose friends and fail classes. But you make it through, barely, some faring better than others. And you graduate, hopefully, and look back at what you’ve accomplished. You look back at your old group of friends, who now wear North Face rather than the ridiculous “preppy” clothing of the past. You see how much your teachers impacted you, changed you,molded you into who you are with their hammers of knowledge, and you say thank you. And you leave with zero dollars to your name and thousands of dollars in debt along with no idea on how to pay it off. So you move on and continue down the road called life.

And that’s the thing about preparedness. It isn’t taught in any school, or through any group, or by any one person. It’s taught by you, by your mistakes, by your misfortunes, by your failures, by your untouched level of dedication to be something better, to do something better. There is no preparing for the future the future is unforeseeable. Maybe that’s why the schools in America don’t teach you how to pay bills, take care of a child, change a flat on your car or integrate you into society. Then is it your parents job? Right, lets add that onto four jobs at one time, bills backing up, two kids in school one in college and a dad who doesn’t really give a shit. No, they have enough to do already.

Preparedness in my opinion is bullshit. You can plan all you want, but everything changes. Your four-year plan turns into a seven-year plan. Your plan to get that dream job is cut short by your inability to show up to your classes because “the party Saturday night was bumping.” And you’re plan to get ahead this time is ended by your slippery slope into who you were in high school.

If you’re going to prepare for anything, prepare to fail, it seems to be the only thing that is 100% going to happen other than death. Just remember this one thing: it isn’t how you fail but how you pick yourself back up afterwards that defines you as a person.

Hope this makes you feel better –> CLICK HERE FOR AWESOME

SNOWPOCALYPSE

If you live anywhere near the mid-west region of the United States you understand what I’m going through. Estimated 16 inches of snow that started this morning and plans on continuing through the weekend. Then on Monday an ice storm that is expected to produce the sleet equivalent of how much snow we’re getting currently.

On that note, everyone be safe, everyone go have fun, and everyone soak in this snow day (if you get one) and I’ll talk to you next week.

(Update)

False Alarm. Campus received approximately 4-6 inches of snow while my home town of Independence, MO received more than a foot. And there is another incoming storm expected to drop an estimated 15-20 inches back in the KC area on top of the last storm– and once more Maryville will receive 4-6 inches.

I don’t want to live in a world like this. When did Southern Missouri get more snow than Northern Missouri?

Manly Vocabulary: Ambition

Ambition: lots of people have it, and if you don’t have it you should get some. Ambition if you don’t already know– although I’m sure you do because you’re well versed in manly vocabulary– is the willingness to achieve greatness. Well that’s not the dictionary definition, but it’s a summary of it. Strictly speaking the willingness to achieve wealth in any way and the desire/dedication to actually attain that goal.

I have an ambition problem actually. I aspire to make loads of money, import skylines into the states once they’re twenty-five years old and no longer have problems coming through customs, have a nice house on some land that I built myself, four-wheelers, a badass garage, kids, and a large truck to tow all of that shit around in. Look, that’s nice to have high expectations like that, but let’s be honest… I can’t afford that, only celebrities can afford that. My ambitions tend to overwhelm my reality, and then I start to actually think about it and this is what will really happen. I’m still in college working towards my bachelors, once I graduate and achieve that I have two routes I can go: grad school or job.

If I follow the path of grad school I’ll be taking out more loans and living off of them. I’ll be a broke ass college kid once more, and let me tell you it isn’t fun. I’ll most likely hole up in some shit-shack near my graduate school, which won’t be anywhere near where I am now because going to the same school for both your undergrad and grad studies isn’t looked highly upon (life lesson of the day), so I’ll be far away and on my own.

If I follow the path of a job right out of college I’ll start to pay off my debts, hopefully within a couple of years I can get it all paid off and have a house of sorts that is at least nicer than my living conditions freshman year. I’ll have a full-time job which means I can buy a truck and make payments on it, eat whatever I want, and get a credit card and put myself in debt like the rest of the world. And maybe later on in life I’ll hit a glass ceiling at my job because of my lack of higher education, one can only hope!

Look, all joking aside, ambition is a real thing. And I feel a lot of people have such high expectations yet they refuse to put forth the efforts needed to achieve those higher goals. I was a shit-show last semester, I failed two classes making my fail count a total of three: Gen Bio, Russian History, and England History. I have excuses, yeah, but do they matter on my transcript? No. Frankly, flat-out, no bullshit, NO. Employers don’t give two shits whether you lost your leg that year or you got drunk every night like an elementary ed major. And quite frankly, people (yeah, you see that generalization?) seem to want more than they are willing to work for, and I was one of them. But not any more, because I’ve realized that ambition is good but in moderation. Take it slow at first, have a goal to finish this semester with B’s in all your classes, set ambitious weight goals if you’re trying to lose some. As long as you’re doing something you’ll be working towards the ultimate goal world domination a better you.

Yeah yeah that’s cliché as hell but whatever. Hope you liked my little rant. Here’s some bacon for you.